


On The Next Full Ed

by buffer



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Detective, Gen, Monster - Freeform, Supernatural Elements, sleuthing, who am I kidding I don't know how to write up an investigation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffer/pseuds/buffer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Double D has come across a series of crimes that seem to point to a single culprit, and the pattern shows that the quiet town he lives in may soon be in danger</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Conversations floated by, large and small, drifting through his ears, all unwanted. Some were interesting – the normal high school gossip, especially the kind that involved certain social circles – but most of them were filtered out as much as he could manage. Sometimes every word was burned into memory. That unfortunate detail made coping with everything that was wrong with his entire existence exponentially more difficult. Why, oh why, did he have to deal with this? On top of everything that was already wrong, why was this the cherry on top of his prostate exam sized pity sundae?

To be fair, these occurrences ensued during the times when he was unfocused, lethargic, doing nothing. Times such as every single day in the cafeteria. Sometimes he would sit with Nazz, who would provide the focus required to avoid becoming the most nosy tree-humper ever. Three out of five days he would sit with his team, and, although he did try to laugh and roughhouse with them, he dreaded those days. Those were days when he learned just how much fungi could grow between one’s toes in the span of a week. When he discovered that a girl he had briefly dated the previous year had gotten a nose ring. That his biology class was going to have a pop quiz. That there was some sad, lonely soul who hated the world and did not want to live one more day, and that soul was talking themselves into taking pills while sitting in the creek.  That friends are able to recognize and coax someone (hopefully not just temporarily) out of a depressed state.

It was during one of the dreaded days that Kevin overheard a very compelling conspiracy theory about some sort of monster, possibly human and probably the horror movie type, subtly terrorizing the nearby area. Theories were explained, half of them wrong, and scoffing laughter followed by a change of topic tortured his mind.

Breaking out of his trance, Kevin grabbed his best friend’s shoulder. “Nat, someone knows.”  
“Knows what, Kevin?” An excitable sophomore inquired. The look in the boy’s eyes were obvious: hero worship.  
“That we’re going to lose on Friday if you and the rest of the defense refuse to work together, Steve.” Steve threw a fry at his face and Kevin laughed it off as if he wasn’t terrified.

Although the theory had been given no credibility, there were two key points that tortured his already overtaxed mind: Double D would not give up easily and was completely capable of patiently collecting information; Ed would jump at any opportunity of finding a real live monster.

****

Double D tried one more time to convince his impatient friend that there was indeed a possibility of supernatural forces involved in the seemingly unconnected events spanning the entire year up to this point.

“Eddy, you  of all people should know that if I were to suggest that some sort of ‘monster,’ for lack of a better term, is making its way toward our very residence then it is because I see no other explanation,” he tried.

“What _ever_ , sock head,” came the rebuttal. “Ever since we’ve known each other _you_ have always been the one telling us that there’s ‘no such thing as ghosts, vampires, werewolves, boogeymen, aliens, and chupacabras.”

“My point exactly! There is no logical explanation for my findings other-“

“Because there is no explanation! Because things just happen! Why are you so quick to jump to-“

“I am not jumping to any concl-“

“I don’t care, Double D!”

“Guys, don’t fight,” Ed all but cried as he gathered his friends into a tight hug. “Eddy’s always angry, but he should never be angry at Double D.”

“Astute observation, Ed,” Double D sighed, giving up.

“I am _not_ always angry, lump head!” Eddy shot back. “Now let me down.”

Ed complied and released his two childhood friends. Eddward bid farewell to the two as they went in different directions and he double checked his locker to guarantee that he had the materials required by his next class: Art. Once he was satisfied and the door of the locker quietly secured, he took a step backward before turning around and felt it nearly break as someone tripped over it. He ignored the pain (that he was exaggerating if he would simply be honest with himself) and scrambled to assist the victim of his thoughtless crime. It was an athlete, that much was blatantly obvious, one that Eddward was not familiar with. Bracing himself for the worst, probably a stream of verbal abuse for dirtying his “swag”, he began gathering the few papers that had become discarded in the fall and apologized.

“I am terribly sorry for my thoughtless actions.”

“No worries, man. I should have watched where I was going,” the nameless boy waved off the apology and lifted himself off the floor.

Well, now. This was certainly unexpected; Double D was fully prepared for the worst, but nothing was coming. Without another word, still expecting the victim of his negligence to fly off the handle, he offered the gathered belongings.

“Hey, you’re Double D, aren’t you,”

This new level of panic exceeded the fear of being bullied by this stranger. He knew who he was. Just who did he trip this unfortunate afternoon?

“Yeah, you’re in my science class. Front row every day. I’m Nathan, by the way. Call me Nat.”

So that’s all it was: merely a classmate. His heart continued its accelerated pace, but slowed significantly as he shook the hand that was extended to him.

“Have you started your project yet? I don’t have a group and I have no idea how to start.”

“I… usually work alone,” Edd started before his new acquaintance pleaded.

“Aw, come on man. I’m willing to do the work, I just can’t think of any reason why knowing about cell reproduction would help me in any situation I’d ever be in.”

“There are multiple reasons why that knowledge would be beneficial,” Ed

A single chime of the school’s PA system signaled one minute remaining until classes begin.

”And I’m sure you’ll tell me after school, partner,” Nat said with a wink.

“What just happened?” Edd mused after heading in separate directions.

Ed definitely preferred the historical aspect of his art class, but once he had spent enough time to acquire the skills taught him the rest of the course became easier. In fact, the class had become enjoyable. By the time the final class of the day had ended Eddward had almost forgotten about being conned into helping someone he barely knew, but was instantly reminded when he saw green hair and a dirty shirt broadcasting an athletic emblem.

"-but if you've got no place to be this weekend, then why not?"

"Kathy, is he bothering you?" Eddward stepped in, faking bravery in an effort to save the pleasant interactions he had established with this girl. Having a good relationship with neighbors is important, after all.

Nat spun around and seemed positively delighted to see the owner of the locker he was leaning up against. 

"Double D, please tell this girl why she should go out with me?" he said, with an amusingly desperate tone.

"I can think of no reason whatsoever," was Edd's curt reply, and, he was pleased to see, Kathy giggled quietly.

With an extra helping of dramatic flair, Nat clutched his heart and sunk to the ground. "Alas, foiled by newly found best bud. Wherefore art thou Romeo thou big turd!"

Edd couldn't help but laugh at the horrible misquotation, and waved to Kathy as she announced her departure. "I cannot access my belongings with you on the floor like that. Kindly mope somewhere else. Also, I don't remember becoming your 'best bud,' as you put it."

With a grin, Nat rose to his feet again, although still preventing Double D from getting to his locker. "When you became my Bio partner that automatically entered you into the pool of Broship"

"I don't recall agreeing to your proposition."

"That's ok," Nat said, grabbing him by the shoulders. "I already cleared it with Mr. Clayton. He said it’d be good for me, or something.”

That did indeed resemble something the young Biology teacher would say. Edd enjoyed that his teacher was young and not too far out of college due to the fresh ideas and interesting techniques employed in explaining concepts. His use of groups as an aid in deepening the understanding of concepts by teaching others was an intriguing one, but Edd had preferred working alone. Perhaps this was an opportunity to help his fellow classmate out, since knowledge should not be hoarded after all.

“Alright then,” Edd confirmed. “Shall we proceed to the library?” He opened his locker and shuffled school supplies between it and his pack.

“Aw, man, why the library? Can’t we just chill at your house?” Nat’s countenance suggested that a trip to the library was akin to biting into a lemon.

“If we go to my house then we will be most unproductive as we have not determined which subject to research and report on. It would be best for us to accomplish the preliminary research before we ‘chill’ at my house.”

“Well, when you put it that way, let’s go!”

After spending an hour evaluating different topics, they finally came to a conclusion. The decision to study the cell division during the human reproduction cycle was thrown own when Double D realized that Nat simply wanted to look inappropriate materials. The decomposing process of cells breaking other cell clusters was a possibility until Nat refused to discuss the topic of human or animal waste. In the end, they decided upon the topic of the healing of wounds and lacerations.

During that hour Double D discovered that, despite Nat’s crude behavior, he was a genuinely pleasant individual. If nothing else, this project would prove to be an interesting one.

“Alright, Double Daydream, I gotta run, literally,” Nat announced as he gathered his belongings and prepared to depart.

“What do you mean,” Edd inquired.

“I missed practice today, so I gotta run a few miles to make up for it.

“Nat!” he almost shouted, temporarily forgetting that he was in a library in his frustration. “You certainly do not need to miss your practices for this project. I will adjust my schedule to accommodate yours.”

“You promise?” Nat asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Of course.”

“Alright, It’s a date then,” He said with a wink. “Your place tomorrow after practice?”


	2. Chapter 2

“So, this is it?” Nat commented as he walked through Double D’s front door.

“Be it ever so humble, welcome to my home,” Double D replied. “Please remove your shoes, Nat.”

A wink went unnoticed as Edd bent to perform the action requested of his guest. “Do you not like dirty floors?” he asked.

“Part of my responsibilities is to clean them and some simple prevention makes my labor much less tiring. Shall we begin?”

Nat had driven Edd home the day before, along with checked out research materials and the spoils lay in a small stack on a small table in the living room. Next to them lay four sheets of lined paper that had been filled with bullet points, main points, counterpoints, definitions, and descriptions.

“I have determined three possible topics of research that may interest you based on our conversations yesterday: muscle regeneration, hair growth, and skin tissue restoration.”

“Holy crap, Double Dingo, are those really related to each other?”

“Essentially, yes. Muscles are rebuilt when they are slightly torn apart during physical exertion and the cells regenerate to make the muscle stronger than before. Hair is merely cells produced by a ‘factory,’ if you will, that pushes out of the skin. Wounds and punctured skin initiates a process where the cells surrounding the wound begin the replicate and slowly build new layers of skin until the wound is healed, sometimes leaving scars. The human body is quite fascinating.”

“Scars are hot,” Nat said, taking a seat next to Eddward on the couch. “Don’t you think so?” Without waiting for a response he continued, “I have some on my legs from when I fell off my scooter when I was ten, and probably some from playing sports but I haven’t really noticed. Do you have any?”

Edd did not respond, picking up a book from the table instead.

“Nah,” Nat said after a few seconds of silence. “You probably haven’t gotten anything more than a paper cut. Unless-“ he trailed off, eyes rising to the black beanie resting atop Double D’s head.

“Is there one topic you prefer out of those choices, or would you care to suggest another,” Edd’s voice rose in almost-panic.

“That depends,” Nat muttered as he slowly reached for the enticing sock hat that suddenly seemed to conceal the secret to eternal youth, but before he could get too close Edd’s hand shot out and grabbed the oncoming wrist and forced it down.

“On what?” Edd inquired, a shadow briefly passing over his eyes.

Nat smirked and shrugged his shoulders, pulling his hand out of Edd’s grip and picking up the page that outlined the process of muscle growth. “This sounds cool. Coach told us that when we lift weights we tear our muscles so that they can get stronger, like you said,  so I think I can wrap my head around that.”

“Splendid,” Double D said cheerfully, all trace of the previous moment seemingly erased from time itself. He picked up the corresponding book and they began their research.

 

After tutoring the boy for an hour Edd noticed the vacant gaze that had possessed his pupil.

"Let's end the lesson for today. Would you enjoy a cold beverage?"

Nat slipped off the couch and crumpled into an uneven pile on the floor. "I'll take whatever's strongest."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I do not stock anything alcoholic."

"Then I'll have whatever you're having, sweetie."

Edd scoffed at the jab, becoming more used to his teasing nature.

"Hey, where's your bathroom?" Nat inquired.

"Up the stairs on the left"

When Nat had finished doing his business he looked around the upstairs hallway and focused on the door embellished with a neat Eddward's Room sign on it and quietly slipped inside. The room was tidy except for a jumbled mess of pictures and articles pinned on a small cork board. Although each item hung straight, the organization was somewhat jumbled; perhaps he just didn't understand the pattern

This is bad, he thought. Connections between printed photographs, clipped articles, highlighted sentences and words were immediately obvious to one who knew the answer, but seemed to escape the investigator. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of the collection. While expecting the quality of the image, Edd opened the door.

"Nat, what on earth are you doing in my room?"

"Sorry Double D," he said, desperately trying to play it cool. "I got curious."

"Are you taking pictures?" panic in his voice as his eyes switched between the phone in Nat's hand and the cork board.

"Of course I am!" Nat said a bit too confidently. "Do you know how long it has been since I've seen a real live ant-farm? Instagram, baby!"

Eddward visibly relaxed, but only just.

"Next time please ask permission first."

"Gotcha," Nat mumbled while ignoring what was said as he actually took a picture of the ant farm, mashed a few buttons and displayed the artificially filtered picture.

"What are their names so I can tag them?"

Double D suppressed a chuckle before explaining that there were over two thousand ants and Nat whistled in reply. Nat allowed himself to be escorted out of the bedroom, waving goodbye to the ants.

That was close.

****

"Dude, the guy has pictures and articles and pins and string and all that crap. Is he some sort of wannabe detective?"

Kevin didn't answer right away. "Sounds like he's serious about this. This isn't good."

"What are you going to do?"

"I can't do anything, Nat. I mean, I suppose we could ask nicely."

"Lemme know how that goes. Maybe that’s the key to success and we’ve been using the wrong approach all along. 'Would you kindly give me your milk money?' If you ask me you should just take care of him."

"Nat, nothing can happen to Peach Creek. I won't let it. Even if he keeps prying. No matter what."

"And if he does find out?"

"Then hopefully everyone thinks he's crazy. I mean if he came to school one day and started accusing the head cheerleader of being a succubus-"

"He'd be right," Nat interjected.

"Can it. My point is we can just say that he's jealous of me and can't stand being unpopular."

"And if he shows up with proof?"

"Wow, Double D, you really are good with photoshop to come up with that. You must be really lonely," Kevin recited with his practice-made-perfect I-dont't-care-I'm-popular voice.

“That isn’t going to work,” Nat said, sighing in defeat.

He was right.


End file.
